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Ask Mom & Spawn: Moved Across The Country… For A Friend?

Friendzoned: Moving and Staying Friends

“I ran into my childhood sweetheart after years apart. We decided to date. He decided he wanted to move across the country. I was finishing my MBA and had nothing holding me back, so I decided to go as well. Two days before he left, he broke up with me. Trying to be a strong independent woman I decided that I was still going to go, after all we had agreed to remain friends. It’s been almost two months of us being friends (fairly successfully) and last week we got into a large fight causing him to block me on everything and is not speaking. I love it here in this new place, but he made it less lonely and I haven’t established many friends here yet (moved here without a job). At this point I feel like giving up and moving home.” – Sarah L.

@CrazyJewishMom: What kind of Sociopathic Sebastian lures a woman across the country, breaks up with her in the middle of their move, and then stops talking to her? I’d like to slice off the totino’s pizza rolls where his balls are supposed to be, toast them up in my toaster oven, and then shove the charred, factory farmed, dairy riddled remains down his throat.

@KateESiegel: Yeah, obviously we don’t have all the information, but he sounds like a bit of a man child. Blocking a person on social media is pretty aggressive. Unfollow, hide posts, so you don’t have to be reminded of a person, but to actively block someone feels pretty childish/ petty.

@CrazyJewishMom: I don’t know what most of that means, but I agree with the manchild part.

@KateESiegel: In terms of where to go from here, I think you have to be really honest with yourself about why you decided to move in the first place, what your motivations are for staying now, and where your best career opportunities are. Did you really move there expecting to just be friends with this guy, or were you hoping he’d have a change of heart and want to be with you once you were there? Are you still holding onto hope that things might work out between the two of you? It sounds like you are fortunate enough to have the flexibility to move wherever the best job is, so I think you have to do what is best for you right now.

@CrazyJewishMom: Yeah, if you love the new place…then screw the old boyfriend and STAY THERE. Get a job, and you will make friends and meet someone eventually.

BUT IF YOU ARE ONLY STAYING IN THE NEW PLACE, HOPING THAT THE EX CHANGES HIS MIND AND BEGS YOU TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND, THEN MOVE HOME OR SOMEWHERE ELSE IMMEDIATELY.

Girlfriend, it’s never gonna happen with this guy. Brad’s never going back to Jennifer…and that boy is never coming back to you. And why would you want him back? He dumped you once, and he would do it again.

Be honest with yourself. Stay if you really like the new city….but leave ASAP if you are only staying so that you can get another fix of the Ex. He is like Heroin…feels good for a second but can kill you in the long run.

Just make sure that wherever you land, it is a place with lots of single Sperminators your age.

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