“I’ve been married for over a year now and dated my husband for 3 years before that. Every time I bring up the children topic, he freaks out. I don’t want to have children right now but I’m just trying to provide a game plan for my eggs. How do I bring him to be more comfortable with this topic ? Thanks!” – Annie
@CrazyJewishMom: Go freeze your eggs, and leave it alone for a year.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Well, that’s expensive, so that may not be an option for you. Did you guys talk about this before you got married? Hopefully, you did, and are on the overall same page about having kids! I’ll say this, I think you should have this conversation asap. That said, you should try to make it as non-threatening for him as possible. Obviously, having kids is a huge step, and you both need to feel ready for it. At the same time, I totally understand wanting to have a plan in place, to make sure you’ll be able to have kids when you both do feel prepared.
@CrazyJewishMom: Uch! Just poke holes in the condoms, and be done with it!
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Nope, don’t do that.
@CrazyJewishMom: I was kidding! Listen, just make him feel comfortable. Take away the pressure. You said you don’t want kids rights now anyway, so start there!
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, maybe start the conversation with something like, “Listen, I am DEFINITELY not ready to have a kid right now either, so don’t worry about that.” I think you have to make him feel like you’re on the same team and realize this isn’t a stressful conversation where you’re trying to force him to have a kid right now.
@CrazyJewishMom: And if that fails, just seduce him, have sex, and have the baby. He’ll come around. No one is ever “ready” to have a kid, but your life opens up for them.