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Ask Mom & Spawn: Help! My Ex Wants to be Friends

Friends

Can you stay friends with an ex?

“Hi! I just broke up with someone who I once considered the love of my life. We decided to part mutually, but it’s been really tough to handle because he still wants to be my friend. I still love him, and the feelings are still there but we just aren’t right for each other. I know in the long run he and I will be better for it, but right now it’s still fresh and still hurts. I don’t think I can have him in my life right now. How do I say this to someone who’s feelings I care about and who I (to a larger degree than I’d like to admit) am still in love with?”- Sydney

@CrazyJewishMom: Fuck. Off. I repeat, you tell him to FUCK OFF! He can’t have the cake and eat it too, sweetheart.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Okay, you definitely don’t to tell him to fuck off, but you have to do what’s best for YOU now. It doesn’t really matter how amicable the break up was or how much you like the guy, you clearly aren’t ready to be his friend.

@CrazyJewishMom: Oh come on! Once his sperminator stick met your baby cannon, you stopped being friends. And newsflash: you’re never going to be friends again! Move on, find your vajayjay a new playmate, and tell this guy to get a life!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Personally, I think it’s hard to be friends with an ex. To be fair, I was a colossal nerd in high school, so I haven’t had many long term relationships. Plus, one that I did have involved cheating and more bedwetting than you’d hope for in an adult man. So, perhaps I’m not the best person to weigh in. All that said, I think that even in the most mature, healthiest of circumstances, it’s tough to scale back a romantic relationship to a friendship.

@CrazyJewishMom: Blah blah blah. MOVE ON.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: In terms of what to say, I think you have to be honest. You don’t need to like ugly cry and drunk text him all of your angst, but you should probably tell him you’re feeling weird about diving right back into a friendship and want a little distance. If he’s as good of a guy as you think he is, he’ll be willing to give you the space you need to move on.

@CrazyJewishMom: Or you could just set his house on fire and be done.

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