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Ask Mom & Spawn: Can You Ever REALLY Get Back Together?

“Can you really get back together with your ex? Hi mom and spawn! So my ex boyfriend and I dated for over 2+ years. We were pretty serious and I thought I’d marry him one day. But he broke up with me out of the blue last year. He completely broke my heart but since then, I have healed and learned a ton. But I thought he was the love of my life and that we’d spend the rest of our lives together. About 5 months ago or so, we decided to take it slow and try to make it work again…we talk (text) every day but will only see each other maybe 1-2 times a week. We still haven’t hung out with each other’s friends or families since we started talking again, we’re not friends on social media yet. We havent said “I love you” since we’ve been dating again. But he’s incredibly sweet still and has recently really been there for me when I needed him. It seems like he cares and loves me but I’m still hesitant. Is this a lost cause? Am I forcing a relationship that is just not meant to be? After 4 months of “taking it slow,” am I allowed to want/expect more from this? Help, I still love him but just don’t know what to do.” -Roro

@CrazyJewishMom:  WAKE UP AND SMELL YOUR ROTTING OVARIES. This guy is using you, and wasting your time!

@KateFriedmanSiegel:  Okay, that’s not necessarily true.

@CrazyJewishMom:  Oh yeah? What do you two do 1-2 times a week when you see each other? Read? No…you bang and he bolts!!! Get real. The answer is yes. You’re forcing it. There are plenty of sperminators in the testosterone sea. Boobs out, chin up, dive in.

@KateFriedmanSiegel:  While I don’t totally agree that getting back together is hopeless, I absolutely think you are allowed to expect more from this guy – you were with him for two years! I think an important question is, when you say “we decided to take it slow and try and make it work again”…what does that mean to him? It sounds like you were ready to marry the guy. Was he on the same page?

@CrazyJewishMom:  OH PLEASE!!! He wants to have his cake and eat it 1-2 TIMES PER WEEK!! Roro, trust me honey. Move on. This is not going to end well.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Obviously, my personal experience isn’t the rule, but I got back together with a long-time ex (who broke up with me) once and, as my mom predicted, it did NOT end well.

@CrazyJewishMom:  You mean, microdick?

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Moving on…even though we were very clearly not right for each other, I think he missed me, and I was still in the “cartons of half eaten chinese food carpeting my living room floor” stage of the breakup, so we tried it. It just ended up prolonging the inevitable and made the whole process much more painful than it needed to be. That said, people DO get back together successfully. It happens, but it seems that usually the time apart gives the couple clarity on their feelings. It worries me that he wont say “I love you,” that there are still so many weird conditions being imposed, and that you’re being kept a secret, even after FOUR MONTHS of this.

@CrazyJewishMom: Don’t you get it? You’re his fuck buddy! Roro, at this stage of your life, love shouldn’t be this hard. Yeah, relationships are work, and shit happens. But if it’s this complicated NOW, how are you going to survive REAL problems in life?


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