Help! I’m trapped in a crazy love triangle and I can’t get out!
“I just want to start off by saying that I know what I am doing is completely wrong and I really need help getting past this. I am in my mid twenties and have been with my wife for five years now. Last year we were in a long distance relationship that really hurt us, I was so weak during this time and started an emotional relationship with another woman that I worked with. I eventually told my wife about it and we got past it. But, this other woman and I had the most intense emotional connection I have ever experienced in my life. Since then, I have tried to stay away from this woman because I love my wife and the life we have. I know this other woman has feelings for me too, but is engaged to be married this year. I’ve tried ending things so many times and somehow we always end up reconnecting, and the emotions get stronger for both of us, and gets messier every time we end things. I think I might be in love with her too and I just want the feelings to go away, but I’m not strong enough to stand up for myself. Last night, I saw her again, and it was just awkward and hard to handle. How do I truly end this relationship, and should I be honest with my wife about everything? I feel so conflicted, and I know I completely brought this onto myself.” – Melissa
@CrazyJewishMom: Melissa, ovary up and make a decision. Did you fuck this other woman?
@KateFriedmanSiegel: It sounds like she hasn’t crossed the physical line, but this is just as bad, in my opinion. If you really love your wife and want the life you have with her (as you claim), CUT THIS WOMAN OFF. JUST STOP. It sounds like you already know what you need to do but just aren’t doing it. Also, I don’t think you can really be in love with two people at once. Part of love is not wanting to cause your partner pain, and you KNOW what you’re doing to your wife will hurt her. Sure, people make mistakes, but if you’re willing to consistently, soberly cross the line with this other woman, how can you also love your wife, knowing that it will crush her?
@CrazyJewishMom: Okay, enough with the wishy washy bullshit.You can’t have your cake and eat it too, Melissa. Distance is no excuse. And it’s clearly not an excuse when you keep talking to her over and over again.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, and your wife already had to forgive you for this! If you want to be with her, you MUST tell her the whole story and then actually cut this other woman out of your life. Not telling her that this happened again is as much of a lie as lying outright.
@CrazyJewishMom: Listen, if you want to dump your wife and see this other woman, do it! But right now, you’re just being an asshole to everyone you claim to care about. Be brave. Do the right thing, and make a choice. Right now, you’re just being selfish.
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