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Ask Mom & Spawn: Am I a Terrible Person? Or is he a Pathetic Egomaniac?

Am I a terrible person, or is he a pathetic egomaniac?

“I went on a couple of dates with someone, and he seemed like a good guy, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Monday night we went out for dinner and the thought of kissing him again at the end of the evening just didn’t feel right to me. I didn’t want to do it, so I told him I just didn’t think it was working out. Didn’t hear from him throughout the day Tuesday, but right before bed he sent me this text:

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“…I’m 27. I’m the last of my friends that’s still single. I know that I’m still young but the thought of being alone terrifies me. Is he right? Am I actually a terrible person?” – Liz

@CrazyJewishMom:  NO! Liz, this guy is a ball-less nutcase.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, this is an INSANE text to send after a couple casual dates. This is the crazy email you draft to your ex of several years, sleep on it, and then STILL decide not to send, because you’re not that pathetic.

@CrazyJewishMom:  He thinks you’re in a “relationship?” After two dates?? You just dodged a major bullet. He’s probably in his Mom’s basement right now, sticking pins in the voodoo doll he made of you. What a creep!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Seeing things like this is so funny to me, especially when women get stereotyped as clingy and desperate. You literally did everything right here. You gave it a shot; you realized you weren’t into it; you explained it to his face. And this loser’s ego is so bruised he can’t just accept that it wasn’t a good fit and walk away! No, he decides to write you a dramatic fucking novel about what a monster you are for not wanting to suck his tiny little micro penis.

@CrazyJewishMom:  Look out, spawn!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: This just pisses me off! Women get broken up with via text message after YEARS of dating, and what do we do? We eat copious amounts of ice cream and move on. Men like this are such fragile little egomaniacs, they need to construct a narrative where they’re the hero. It’s not that they are undesirable, it’s just that the woman is a mean, temptress who will eventually get her comeuppance and die alone for her sin (of not wanting shave this guy’s back hair for the next 60 years).

@CrazyJewishMom: Men are weak. Why do you think women are the ones who give birth? Imagine if they had to shoot a grapefruit out of their penis. They complain when a strong breeze jostles their precious testicles.

@KateFriedmanSiegel:  Liz, don’t doubt yourself for a second. You’re not going to die alone. And equally important: you’re not going to die in this egomaniac’s voodoo doll dungeon!

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