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Ask Mom & Spawn: I’m a Newlywed, but I Slept With a Coworker!!

Newlywed

I’m happily newlywed, but I still slept with my coworker while away on business, and I don’t really feel guilty. What do I do?

“Hi ladies, I have been married for two years now to a wonderful, sweet man who I dated for 5 years prior to our marriage. However, a couple of weeks ago, during a business trip, I went out for drinks with a group of colleagues and ended up sleeping with one of them. I don’t feel guilty, and I returned home feeling unbothered and treated the whole thing as a fun experience. However, I am surprised about my behavior. Is this normal? I really do love and adore my husband, but sex has become such a routine lately. What are your thoughts?” – Heather

@CrazyJewishMom: DO NOT TELL YOUR HUSBAND! NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THAT!

@KateFriedmanSiegel:  Oh, I disagree.

@CrazyJewishMom: Listen, if you really love your husband DON’T EVER TELL HIM. All you will do is hurt him to alleviate your own guilt.

@KateFriedmanSiegel:  Before you do anything, you need to figure out what kind of relationship you want with your husband, and then you need to prepare yourself to stick to it. In spite of how “fine” you feel after cheating, you really crossed a line. If you’re not prepared to keep it in your pantsuit, then it’s wildly unfair for you to let your husband believe you’re monogamous. And the violation of trust aside, you’re exposing him to whatever STDs your drunk coworker might have.

@CrazyJewishMom: Yeah, you should get tested right now.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: People mess up, they make regrettable decisions when intoxicated. I’d argue that even one time drunken mistakes like that are hard to forgive, but it’s troubling that you seem so comfortable with what happened. And your justification is what? Our sex isn’t as steamy as it used to be? You’ve seriously violated the trust of your partner, and I think you need to figure out what you want here.

@CrazyJewishMom:  I agree you need to figure out what you want. If you want to hang on to your man BUY SOME SEX TOYS, SPICE THINGS UP WITH YOUR HUBBY, and get back on the monogamy train. Go to a hotel for a night, drink, and have fun!! Try having sex in forbidden places: your car, on a beach. Hot sex comes and goes during a long marriage. YOU CAN BRING IT BACK, BECAUSE THE BRAIN IS THE BIGGEST SEX ORGAN. If it was nothing, just liquor and sex, and you’re not having an affair with this guy, DON’T TELL YOUR HUSBAND. Suck it up, live with it, and be committed from now on.

 

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