Anonymous wrote in because her boyfriend cheated on her with girls that her best friend continues to hang out with. What should she do??
“This may sound absurd, but I really don’t know how to communicate an issue I’m having to one of my best friends. She used to work abroad with my boyfriend, and while he was out there, he cheated on me (several times). I’ve forgiven my boyfriend and over time, I’ve begun to not think about the cheating EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY and we’re in a good place. The thought of not being with him hurt more than being with him and knowing what he’d done. However, my friend who was abroad with him is still friends with the girls. I know it takes two to tango, and I don’t want to cause trouble with anyone in the situation. But it just seems shitty that my friend will still give these girls the time of day knowing that they slept with my man, and pursued a man who they knew had a girlfriend at home. I don’t want to seem like a hypocrite when I’ve forgiven him, yet be mad at others but it’s hurting me. Every time I see a picture on her Instagram of her with them, I burst into tears as they’re a reminder of what he did. I know I’m taking him back I can’t punish him for life so I try not to bring it up to him.” – Anonymous
@CrazyJewishMom: Friend? On what planet is this girl your friend!?
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Okay, so I don’t know if this “friend” of yours is stranded on an island with only the girls your boyfriend cheated with and a coconut tree, but that’s really the only scenario I can imagine in which hanging out with them would be okay. And even then. She should probably ignore them, draw a smiley face on a coconut – Wilson style – and call it a day.
@CrazyJewishMom: Or feed them to the sharks.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, and listen, you’re not crazy. As you said, you know that it is ultimately your boyfriend’s responsibility to keep his dick in his pants, not the women he cheated with (even though it’s shitty that they knowingly pursued someone in a committed relationship). But you can simultaneously know that those girls aren’t the ones who betrayed you, and still not want your best friend to hang out with them, let alone blast cute selfies of them into your news feed. There’s a reason the unfollow option exists on Facebook.
@CrazyJewishMom: Forget this girl. Come to New York, I’ll be your friend, and I happen to understand girl code.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: I don’t think you have to cut the friend out of your life just yet. It sucks that she doesn’t instinctively know that hanging out with those girls will hurt you, but if the friendship is important to you, you should try having a conversation. If she’s a good friend, you have to be honest and tell her what you told us, express how hurtful and triggering her friendship with those girls is for you, and hopefully you can move forward.
@CrazyJewishMom: Or key her car.
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