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Ask Mom & Spawn: My husband is Cheating With Men and Women, but I Can’t Leave.

Anonymous recently found out that her husband has been cheating on her with both men and women. She would leave … but she doesn’t have the money. What should she do?

“I recently discovered that my husband of 15 years has been cheating on me with both men and women and lying to me about it. He doesn’t know that I know yet, but as I dig deeper, I am realizing just what a pathological liar he is/has always been. My heart is completely shattered, but I know now that for my own sanity and the sake of our beautiful children, I need out of this relationship. The problem being that I am in serious amounts of debt, and I need to get out of it before I file for divorce. I thought about doing a GoFundMe, but you can’t set one up anonymously, and for now I need to not have anything out there that he could find with my name on it that would give him an inkling of my plans. Due to aforementioned beautiful children, and scheduling conflicts, getting a second job outside the house is not possible, so I guess I’m wondering if either of you have any ideas how to make side money at home so I don’t have to live in this hell for much longer.” -Anonymous

@CrazyJewishMom: Honey, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. This man is a piece of shit, and the first thing you need to do is go get an STD and HIV test.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: I want to echo my mother again here. I am so incredibly sorry that you are living in this hell. You and your family do not deserve this betrayal (to put it lightly), and I’m heartbroken for you and your kids.

@CrazyJewishMom: If there were ever a time to key someone’s car and then rip off their testicles, THIS IS IT.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: I’m not going to ever condone assault, but this guy is pushing it. In terms of jobs that can be done from home, I think you need to temper your expectations, as my understanding is that remote jobs pay substantially less than in person work. That being said, there are definitely opportunities out there, especially in light of new tech companies like Uber, etc. I’m not sure where you live or about your skill set, but perhaps you could try driving for Uber or another local ride-sharing company that is popular where you are? Or Task-rabbit? Also, a lot of customer support jobs are outsourced and can be done remotely (one company I know for sure that does this is VIPDesk), but I’ve also heard that airline customer support is often handled by remote employees. I don’t have a great deal of experience with this area, but hopefully those suggestions will give you a place to start.

@CrazyJewishMom: I’m fuming. How can a person be so fucking selfish? He has kids!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: It’s disgusting. One more important thing that you might want to take into consideration when thinking about timing: the new tax law. I just read an article the other day about how the new tax code will impact divorce, and it seems that starting in 2019 Alimony will be affected. I would take a look at this article and see if waiting would have negative financial implications for you. Obviously, we don’t know much about your circumstances, but this could be an important thing to consider.

Note: Link to article mentioned above.

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