“So I’ve been dating a married man for 3 months. I know…but in my defense, he told me he was going to leave his wife, and I thought he was looking for a place to move into. He recently sent me a text breaking up with me and telling me not to contact him. I’ve begged him to at least talk to me and explain himself, but he has blocked me and won’t respond. I can see on social media that he’s playing happy family with his wife and children. I contacted his wife to demand that she allow him to at least have a conversation with me, but she refused and blocked me too. I believe he really cared about me and she must be forcing him to ignore me. I’m willing to accept his decision if he’d just give me a reason why he chose her over me. My heart is breaking and I don’t know what to do. How can I convince him to speak to me?” – Confused & Sad
@CrazyJewishMom: Okay honey. Time for some tough love. You need to move the hell on before these people file a restraining order. Stop with the facebook stalking, and go find some unmarried manmeat.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, and you really need to leave his wife alone. It’s very unfair to drag her even further into this situation that she in no way asked for.
@CrazyJewishMom: Unfair? It’s disgusting that you called the wife. Next time you want to call the wife, call a therapist. Better yet, call a therapist now.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: I’m a firm believer that it is the cheater’s responsibility to keep his dick in his pants, but knowingly sleeping with someone who’s married, still isn’t great. And this guy has kids! Morality questions aside though, dating a married man just NEVER ends well for the woman in your position.
@CrazyJewishMom: If I could count the number of times I’ve heard this story “cheater tells mistress he’s leaving his wife, cheater lies about how close he is to getting divorced, suddenly cheater breaks up with mistress and goes back to his family…” I’d be a very wealthy woman. They. Never. Leave. Their. Wives. Period.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Even if this guy did a 180 from where he is now and came barreling back into your arms, how could you EVER trust him? This is a married man with children. Not only did he violate his wife’s trust, he totally betrayed his innocent kids!! Think out what your life with this man would actually be like, given how your romance began. When you’re 8 months pregnant, asking him to make a pickle craving run at 11 pm…do you really want to worry that he might be stopping off to stick it in his side chick on the way home from Krogers?
@CrazyJewishMom: Enough with this theoretical stuff! It’s fantasy. This guy is sending you a very clear message about what he wants. BELIEVE HIM.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: And even if it is, as you suspect, that this man’s wife has asked him to ignore you, he is making the conscious decision to obey her wishes. He chose his family, and harassing them isn’t going to change that, it’s only going to get you a restraining order. I realize this is a lot of harsh, “real talk” at a moment when you’re clearly hurting, and I am very sorry that you’re in pain.
@CrazyJewishMom: Learn from this. Date good men. They’re hard to find, but if they’re sleeping with you while they’re married, they’re not one of the good ones.
Read Kate’s Book!
Need advice or have questions for @CrazyJewishMom & Spawn? Submit them via the form below for the advice column! AND follow us:
For qualified advice, please visit this website for resources.