My Fiancé’s dramatic ex is trying to break up our relationship! Help!
“I’m 6 months away from my wedding, and my fiancé’s ex-wife just won’t leave him/ us alone – we hadn’t heard from her in months and he has her blocked on his android phone, but the other week she managed to iMessage his iPad (we hadn’t thought to block it), saying “Please don’t marry her.” My fiancé told me about the message, because he found it funny, but I’m absolutely fuming! I feel so angry that she has just no respect for our relationship. A little history here – he was married to her for a year before she broke up with him while on holiday abroad with his parents at Christmas. Turned out, she’d been having an affair with a man half her age. It may also be worth noting that literally the day after their wedding she moved to the other end of the country to start a new job (she’s a minor soap opera actress). Anyway, 5 months after the break up he, met me, and we’ve been together for 3 years now. She left us alone for the first 4 months of our relationship, until her romance with the ‘boy toy’ ended. Since then, she’s been a nightmare. Somehow, my fiancé got her to sign the divorce papers which came through in August last year and we were finally free to get engaged – which again, drew angry messages from her to my fiancé. It’s like she thinks our relationship is just there to scorn her (he blocked her after that round of messages). My fiancé is pretty un-bothered by it – he looks at it like, it’s over, there’s nothing she can do to us and we’re both happy and looking forward to our wedding. But I’m just so angry, and I’m really worried that she’ll never leave us alone, what can I do?” – Anonymous
@CrazyJewishMom: You throw the iPad off a tall building, and ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Nope. Not good advice. iMessage doesn’t self destruct just because you destroyed your own expensive property.
@CrazyJewishMom: Come on, this is an easy one. Everyone has exes. Your fiancé’s ex is awful, but you need toughen up. If this is the worst thing in your relationship, you’re doing just fine. Your fiancé could have a micro penis! He could have a secret family! He could be a stamp collector! You’re fine.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: You ended on stamp collector?
@CrazyJewishMom: It’s creepy. Stamps are for mailing, not keeping. It starts there, and next thing you know, he’s got a fingernail clipping collection next to a hair doll shrine built in your closet.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Okay, back to reality. I actually agree with my mom’s overall sentiment. The ex sounds like a nightmare, but you can’t control her behavior, you can only control your own and look to how your partner reacts.
@CrazyJewishMom: You could send her a severed cow tongue with a note “silence is a virtue” signed by you. Carrie Fisher style! That’d shut her up.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: It worries me that you would know where to buy a severed cow tongue, but let’s move on (and DEFINITELY NOT DO THAT). The point I’m trying to make is that your fiancé is doing all the right things and handling it in a way that is totally respectful to you. I absolutely GET IT, when it comes to not being excited about your partner’s exes. Plus, you got served a real shit sandwich with the meddling soap star ex, but for the sake of your relationship, you have to try and let it roll off your back. Block her on iMessage, and enjoy your wedding! She may make a few more sad attempts to be in touch, but if you and your partner are solid, that’s all that matters.
@CrazyJewishMom:Get over the anger. You’re mad about the way she treated him? NEWSFLASH: he’s upgraded to you! You’re pissed that she’s trying to break up your relationship? ANOTHER NEWSFLASH: It isn’t working, and your fiancé is laughing in her face. You win. Go enjoy your life.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Good luck with the wedding planning!
@CrazyJewishMom: And just remember, you always have the cow tongue in your back pocket.
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