Anonymous’ boyfriend is going to Peru…with his ex who is still in love with him.
“Dear Mom and Spawn – My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over four and a half months. We have a strange story. We were friendly in youth group 10 years ago and recently reconnected. He is about to leave on a young professionals trip with a “friend” to Peru for 19 days. The kicker is that the “friend” is also his ex of nine years. I have never met her, but honestly, I hate her. I’m pretty sure she is still in love with him. I know he is not in love with her anymore, but she has said kind of backhanded, rude comments about me and keeps stalking my Instagram. I have never met her! She talks shit about me to him and acts like I stole her boyfriend. He dumped her almost two years ago, after being on and off that whole time. My friends tell me to trust him, but I don’t trust her. We talk about the future, but I’m super worried we won’t have one. What do I do? I can’t make him cancel; he would lose $4,000.” -Anonymous
@CrazyJewishMom: You get your ass to Peru, stick your tongue down his throat, and claim his crotch.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: No, no…that’s not a good idea. Unfortunately, I think you’re right to be concerned. Forget how your boyfriend feels for a second. If they were truly just friends in her mind, she would be supportive of him finding love, and she wouldn’t be criticizing you about petty, catty bullshit. If she really had a fundamental concern about your character, and the criticism were coming from a place of concern for a friend, this is not how it would manifest.
@CrazyJewishMom: Men don’t go on trips with their exes to Peru when they are seeing someone else. Something’s fishy here. Why didn’t he ask you to come along if he and the ex are just friends? When he gets back, it’s time for him to CUT THE CLINGY EX from his life. If not, you move on.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, I think my mom has the right general idea. It’s definitely too late to do anything about this trip, but it sounds like you’re confident that he is over her, so you just need to trust that he will respect your relationship for those 19 days. And listen, let’s talk about the worst case scenario: he cheats on you with his ex on the trip. That will give you a lot of important clarity. Ten years is a long time to be with someone, and if he hasn’t moved on fully, better to know that now, and move on to someone who is emotionally available.
@CrazyJewishMom: Oh, if he cheats on you, you burn both of their houses down. Listen, it’s very simple. You tell him he can delete her phone number, or you can frame her for murder!
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Nope, nope, nope! When he gets back, assuming he was respectful of your relationship on the trip, I think you can just be honest. I’d say something like, “listen, I really like you, and I totally trust you, but I have to be honest: Your friendship with your ex makes me extremely uncomfortable. I think she pretty clearly still has feelings for you, and it’s stressful for me to have to constantly hear the negative things she’s saying about me. You have been totally respectful, but I just feel like there’s a third person in the middle of our relationship, and I want to be able to figure out where we’re going without all this negativity. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from and that you’ll scale back your friendship with your ex.”
@CrazyJewishMom: Oh my god! Enough! This is very simple. Just tell him, “Newsflash! Your ex is in love with you. I don’t have time for drama, so let’s cut to the chase. You need to tell her to back off, because I’m not interested in being in a Thrupple!”
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