For this week’s #WhatTheHellHappened, we caught up with “Anonymous,” who wrote us because her boyfriend was going on a trip! The problem? He was going with is ex-girlfriend, who also happened to still be in love with him. My mom thought that Anonymous should chase her boyfriend to Peru, stick her “tongue down his throat, and claim his crotch.” I thought it would be better to hang back, hope for the best, and prepare herself for the worst. That said, my mom and I did agree (assuming her boyfriend was faithful on the trip) that she should have an honest conversation with him about his boundary-crossing friendship with his ex, or as my mother phrased it, “Just tell him … ‘I’m not interested in being in a Thrupple!‘”
So, #WhatTheHellHappened? Here’s a refresher on Anonymous’ original story, and an update from her below!
“Dear Mom and Spawn – My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over four and a half months. We have a strange story. We were friendly in youth group 10 years ago and recently reconnected. He is about to leave on a young professionals trip with a “friend” to Peru for 19 days. The kicker is that the “friend” is also his ex of nine years. I have never met her, but honestly, I hate her. I’m pretty sure she is still in love with him. I know he is not in love with her anymore, but she has said kind of backhanded, rude comments about me and keeps stalking my Instagram. I have never met her! She talks shit about me to him and acts like I stole her boyfriend. He dumped her almost two years ago, after being on and off that whole time. My friends tell me to trust him, but I don’t trust her. We talk about the future, but I’m super worried we won’t have one. What do I do? I can’t make him cancel; he would lose $4,000.” -Anonymous
So, #WhatTheHellHappened to her?
“My boyfriend came back from the trip. It was a hard trip on both of us. We had our first real fight while he was over there. He was asking me to give her a chance, and it was not something I was really ready to hear. While he was gone it turned out to be a hectic time for me. The day he left (actually as he was getting on the plane), I fell at the gym and tore my acl. So I was not in the best place mentally or physically while he was gone. This created a lot of friction, because I was struggling with my own health and taking it out on him. I did get to surprise him at the airport, which was the best thing in the world to get to be the first to hug him! We are doing better now. We are actually planning a trip for next summer when I graduate with my masters! We are still together, and he has been interacting with the ex less and less. I have met the ex, and let’s just say, we won’t be friends, but I can tolerate her a bit more. He has been trying to keep my feelings in mind more when it comes to the ex and told her to shape up or get out of his life. Thanks for your advice!” – Anonymous
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Oh good! I’m so glad to hear it worked out! I hope your acl has healed – I’m sorry you went through that! And what an awful moment to have that happen! It sounds like you’re handling the situation with his ex very maturely, and most importantly, it’s great that he is putting your needs first and being clear that you are his priority.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Or you could just continue enjoying your life, and have a great time on the trip you’re planning together.
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