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#WhatTheHellHappened: (TRIGGER WARNING) To The Woman Who Was Approached By Her Dad’s 45-Year-Old Friend to do Soft Porn

**TRIGGER WARNING** Sexual harassment. If you or someone you know has experienced unwanted sexual advances, please consult this website for resources.

For this week’s #WhatTheHellHappened, we caught up with Anjali, who wrote us, because her dad’s friend cornered her and asked her to do “soft porn”, as well as saying a bunch of other abusive, horrifying shit and trying to coerce her into sex. The creep, who Anjali’s family affectionately called “uncle,” and was more than twice her age, then kept calling her and harassing her to the point that she had to block his number. Anjali felt isolated, angry, and upset, and she wanted to know if we thought she was overreacting. Spoiler: We didn’t. In fact, we thought she was justified in everything she felt and more. She originally wrote us in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, and now, here we are in the middle of a sexual assault inquiry into a potential Supreme Court justice! What a time to be alive. My mom and I both shared our own thoughts and experiences on sexual misconductand we encouraged Anjali to seek professional help and possibly share what happened with her family.

So, #WhatTheHellHappened? Here’s a refresher on Anjali’s original story, and an update from her below.

“One of our family friends that we’ve known for 8 years asked me to meet him alone for lunch. The way he asked me was super sketchy, so I didn’t feel comfortable going. But I was like ‘hey I’ve known him for so long what could go wrong?’ So, I go and he asks me to get in his car and we drive to Starbucks. He is 45-years-old and I’m 22. He sits me down and asks me if I would do “soft porn” with him. He would ask me questions and I would answer them, and only my shoulders and up will be showing. I really didn’t feel comfortable being there, and I told him that, but he told me to keep an open mind and hear him out. Then, he started asking me all these private sexual questions that I really did not want to answer. But I was in his car so I literally had nowhere else to go, so I just lied and got on with it. Then he started to tell me to pretend I was his girlfriend and started saying scenarios, asking me ‘what would you like for me to do to you,’ and I felt really uncomfortable at that point. He said we would make a lot of money from making these videos and I just did not want to get into any of this. I told him no, but he won’t stop calling me, and it’s at a point where I had to block his number. I can’t even sleep at night anymore because all I can keep thinking is, ‘How can I trust any uncle now.’ Like even uncles that I would never think would do that. How do I know that they won’t do that shit to me? This has legit mentally scarred me, and idk how to not let it. It’s all I can think about right now, and it’s legit keeping me up at night! I feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore, and I’m always gonna be skeptical of everyone’s motive. He had no right to say those things to me and I’m so angry. So. Fucking. Angry. Almost to point where I feel sorry for myself and I don’t even know why I feel sorry. I haven’t done anything wrong. Tell me if I’m over thinking this and shit because then maybe there is still some chance of keeping some of my sanity.” – Anjali

So, #WhatTheHellHappened to her?

“I am doing okay considering. It’s been almost a year, and what happened did not break me, but I know that it left a scar. I definitely have trust issues when it comes to older men now, and I absolutely refuse to be alone with them, because I’m scared of what will happen. But I am stronger than I was back then, and no matter what happens, I always keep my head high. It was not my fault that it happened, even though he blamed me for wearing the clothes I was wearing and acting the way I acted. I was being myself and there’s nothing wrong with that, because it’s who I am. I did end up telling my family about it, and the situation was handled. We aren’t on speaking terms with them anymore and I think it’s for the best.” -Anjali

@CrazyJewishMom: I’m so sorry any of this happened, but I’m glad you were able to tell your family and that they handled it well. I was worried about you because sexual abuse can be very isolating. You stay strong, and hell yes you keep being who you are. You did absolutely nothing wrong, and your predatory, ex family friend should have his tongue chopped out for suggesting it. That makes me furious.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah that part made my blood boil too. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

@CrazyJewishMom: He really should have his dick chopped off and should go to jail. I bet he’s doing this to other young women too.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, I’m so sorry Anjali. I’m glad you’re being strong, that you’re healing from this experience, and that your family cut this guy out of your lives. Know that you’re wonderful, and this asshole is 10000000000% to blame.

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For qualified advice, please visit this website for resources.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, please visit this website for resources or call 1-800-799-7233.

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