Alex wrote in because she’s so in love with her husband, but she doesn’t trust him after finding out he’s been on dating apps talking to other women throughout their entire relationship! He says it’s nothing physical, and she wants a family. What should she do?
“Hello! I’ve been married for about 1.5 years to a wonderful guy. I fell in love with him almost instantly and couldn’t have been happier throughout the 3 years we’ve been together. However, I recently learned that he has been talking to other women via dating apps throughout our entire relationship (dating, engaged, and married). I am absolutely destroyed by this news. He has been trying to make up for it, but I’m afraid it’s too little too late. I love him, and will likely always love him, but is it worth it for me to stay if he has lied to me throughout our entire relationship? I’d like a family, but I don’t want to have children with him and then find out he’s talking to other women again. Also, he swears that nothing physical has ever happened, but how am I supposed to believe him? Help! I’m utterly torn.” – Alex
@CrazyJewishMom: How can you believe him? Time travel to the moment he was conceived, swap out his filthy, cheating DNA for trustworthy genes, and then supervise his upbringing, making sure he’s taught to respect women in every aspect of his life. Otherwise, YOU CAN’T TRUST HIM. Go get tested.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Well, that took a turn. But going with it – unless you have a time machine and access to advanced gene editing technology, I tend to agree with my mom. You really have no reason to trust a single thing this guy tells you, and frankly, whether or not he actually crossed the line physically is kind of irrelevant. At the end of the day, he is lying to you and has been lying to you since the day you met. Also, it’s not like you stumbled on some old messages from when you were less serious. He was talking to other women up until the moment he got caught, so he’s not exactly credible when it comes to his denials. I’m so incredibly sorry for what you’re going through. It just sucks.
@CrazyJewishMom: You should tar and feather this guy with boiled dog shit and sweaty, lice-infested pubic hair. I’ll do it for you.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Nope, no she won’t. Can’t say this guy wouldn’t deserve it, but still not a good idea. In terms of what to do now, I think you’re asking yourself all the right questions at the right time. You don’t have kids with this guy yet, so you still have the flexibility to make decisions solely based on what’s best for you, which is a good thing. Ultimately, we can’t tell you whether or not you should leave him. I think you need to be brutally honest with yourself and decide if you’ll be able to get to a place where you genuinely trust him again. If you love him and you want to do the work to get there, you could go to couples therapy and try to rebuild. On the flip side, if you know you won’t be able to trust him, the last thing in the world you want to be doing when you’re eight months pregnant, gassy, and constantly running to the bathroom…is wondering if he was sending dick pics to some stranger on Tinder while you were peeing.
@CrazyJewishMom: If you divorce him, make sure you get all of his most prized possessions in the settlement. Or burn them.
Read Kate’s Book!
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