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#WhatTheHellHappened: To The Woman Who Didn’t Know How to Deal With her Racist Mother-In-Law?

For this week’s #WhatTheHellHappened we caught up with Jenny who originally wrote us, because her future mother and sister-in-law had been consistently racist and vile toward her since she and her fiancé started dating because of her Spanish-American heritage! They even went as far as accusing Jenny of bringing drugs to their house and encouraging her then-boyfriend to cheat on her with a waitress. Jenny was (UNDERSTANDABLY) fed up, and she asked us for advice on whether or not she should confront them or continue quietly suffering through it. We had some thoughts. My mom encouraged arson, while I thought her fiancé needed to stand up for her and tell his family to cut it out.

So, #WhatTheHellHappened? Here’s a refresher on Jenny and an update from her below!

“I’ve been with my fiancé since we were 16 and 17, and we are now 21 and 22. We’ve been engaged for a year, but his mother and one of his sisters hate me, all because of my skin color. My fiancé is American and I’m Spanish-American. His mother and sister hate me so much that his sister accused me of bringing drugs to the house when I was 17 and has even encouraged him to cheat on me with a waitress, all because she was white. His mother has also told him that I am a gold digger, even though I’ve never shown interest in his money. Should I confront them, or just let it go?” – Jenny

So, #WhatTheHellHappened to her?

“Yes everything is better.What ended up happening was my now-husband had a conversation with his parents. First his dad and then his mom. Since that very intense conversation, his mom has been nicer to me and hasn’t said anything about him finding someone new or stuff about me. His sister is still rude to me, but doesn’t live anywhere near us so it doesn’t matter. Where happier and just enjoying our lives together. It’s not perfect but it’s perfect for us.”

@CrazyJewishMom: I still think arson should be on the table for the sister. Screw that racist shithead. I’m done with this kind of crap. It’s 2018. America was founded on diversity, and if you don’t get that, then you don’t deserve any empathy from anyone.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: I agree (not about the arson part). On a personal note, I’m extremely sick of Nazis sliding into my DMs with swastikas, so I can relate on some level to this kind of crap. I wrote about this previously, but starting this Instagram account has made me so much more keenly aware of the rampant hate that exists in this country and also of my significant privilege. When I walk around in the world, I present as a cis white woman with no markers identifying me as “other.” I’m embarrassed to admit, it wasn’t until I started this (very publicly Jewish) instagram account that I even fully thought through or gained even a partial understanding of what it means to walk around every day as a visible minority in this country. And when I don’t feel like getting harrassed with pictures of hitler, I can just shut off my phone. POC have no choice but to face that kind of hate every single day, for just walking around and existing in their own skin.  I cannot overstate how sorry I am for the things you have to experience, and this situation with your in-laws is especially heartbreaking, because you’d hope that family would be a safe space. That being said, I am glad to hear that the situation with your MIL improved and that you and your husband are happy! I just genuinely wish you didn’t have to deal with any of it.

hires-book-coverRead Kate’s Book!

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