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Ask Mom & Spawn: Help! I Think I’m the Other Woman

Genna wrote in because she suspects that she’s the other woman in her new relationship … and doesn’t know what to do because she’s falling in love with the guy! What should she do?

“Hi ladies! I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over 8 months now. At first it was just as friends but then it went further…I suspect based on social media stalking that he has a girlfriend. He’s told me about everyone in his life but not about this girl, and I’m scared that I’m the other woman. I’m too afraid to bring it up for fear of ruining whatever it is we have together, but I’m falling in love with him…Any advice?” -Genna

@CrazyJewishMom: Advice? DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH CHEATING ASSHOLES.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Seconded. And Genna! What an idiot! If you are in fact the other woman, he’s not even clever enough to cover his tracks. Infidelity aside, do you really want to be with someone who is that baseline unintelligent? Did he really think you wouldn’t notice a girlfriend, plastered all over his social media?

@CrazyJewishMom: Yeah, pick a sperminator with some brains for the next one!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: On a more concrete level, I think you need to bite the bullet and ask him about what you found on social media. Who knows! Maybe he has a totally valid explanation for posting couples pictures with the one person he’s never mentioned to you and who also happens to have digitally pissed all over his facebook page to mark her territory! Probably not. But you need to know.

@CrazyJewishMom: Have you met his friends? His family? Does he take you to parties with his friends? If not, wake up and smell the Fuckboy!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: I think if for no other reason than closure, you need to ask him about what you found. You say that you’re afraid having the conversation with him might ruin what you have together. If he does have another girlfriend, what you have together is a relationship built on lies since the moment you met! What the hell is even the tiniest bit great about that?! And let’s map out the “best” case scenario in which  you two stay together – you confront him, he confesses to having another girlfriend, he tells you he couldn’t help himself because he just fell madly in love with you, he breaks up with the other girlfriend and commits to you. How on earth would you ever be able to trust a word that came out of his mouth or trust that he isn’t having another relationship with another girlfriend somewhere?

@CrazyJewishMom: Well, he was pretty stupid about the cheating the first time around, so Genna would probably find out.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Fair enough. But come on, Genna. You deserve better than this. Assuming your gut is right and you are the other woman, this guy has spent the last 8 months lying to you about the most fundamental part of your relationship. Love someone who’s worthy of it.

@CrazyJewishMom: Or at least someone with a higher IQ.

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