“Pregnant & Worried” wrote in because she is expecting a beautiful baby with her boyfriend … who is still legally married … and doesn’t seem to be working towards actually getting a divorce. Now she doesn’t know what to do! What do you think?
“I am about 6 months pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby and couldn’t be happier, but he is still legally married. When we first got together almost two years ago his wife had suggested they try an open relationship and two months later decided she wanted a divorce, I was ecstatic but at the same time worried about how he would handle the divorce. Now almost two years later they are both dragging their feet to get things done with. They don’t talk and that’s a big part of it, because they can’t even text each other without fighting. I’m having his baby in May and would really like it if he was legally divorced before the baby comes. He says he wants to get married and we recently got a new house together, but how do I get him to stop dragging his feet with his soon to be ex wife without being too pushy?” -Pregnant & Worried
@CrazyJewishMom: Too pushy? You push him off a cliff if he doesn’t get over himself and get the divorce!
@KateFriedmanSiegel: No homicide, please. I agree with my mom on this one.
@CrazyJewishMom: You are about to shoot his kid out of your baby cannon. You know what’s a lot more unpleasant than getting a couple mean texts from an ex? SHOVING A CANTELOUPE OUT OF YOUR HOOHA! This is the least he could do.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: Well, that was a lot. I also think you need to be realistic with your expectations here. You’re having this baby in three months, and divorce can be complicated. Practically? They’re probably not going to be able to get divorced by then. Nonetheless, I think you should ask him to start the divorce process with the goal of finalizing it ASAP. You could try telling him that he needs to rip the band-aid off, because it’s going to be shitty whenever he ends up doing it and dragging it out is just making it more painful. Also, you could mention that it would be nice to bring your kid into the world with as much of his past in the past as possible.
@CrazyJewishMom: Listen to me, either he wants to have a future with you, or he wants to hang onto his ex. Don’t worry about being pushy, you deserve to know if he wants you in his future. So far it’s all talk. He needs to take some action.
Read Kate’s Book!
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