“I am 29 years old and have my own crazy Jewish mom to deal with. I bought my first house last summer, and, last week, my mom bought a house half a mile from mine! How do I keep my sanity and ensure my Jewish mother doesn’t butt into my life more than necessary?”
@CrazyJewishMom: You don’t. You thank your lucky stars you have a mother who loves you enough to want to spend time with you.
@KateFriedmanSiegel: As someone with a Crazy Jewish Mom who chased her to college (see chapter 11 of my book for the full story of THAT insanity), I can help! I think the most important thing is to set clear boundaries.
@CrazyJewishMom: Boundaries? What are those?
@KateFRiedmanSiegel: Funny, Mom. I can obviously only speak to the dynamics of the relationship I have with my own mom, but I think the best advice I can give is to be open and clear. I have told my mother in no uncertain terms where my hard lines are, where she needs to back down, and she respects them. Mostly. I have an admittedly (extremely) high tolerance for crazy, but my mom knows where my real boundaries are. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes she oversteps, but because I was and am upfront about the things I really don’t want her to do/ interfere on, it’s easy to talk about why I’m mad and move on if she ever crosses the line. When you start out on honest footing, it’s just easier to talk about what’s bothering you.
@CrazyJewishMom: I never bother her.
@KateFRiedmanSiegel: Yes, it’s A LOT that your mom moved so close to you. I think you have to be clear about your expectations for how you want this new living arrangement to work. Be honest with her. If you only want to see her once a month. Tell her that. Cushion the blow a little, but set the boundaries upfront so no one gets their feelings hurt.
@CrazyJewishMom: Once a month??? Legally, if you only see your mother once a month, that’s grounds to kill you. She brought you into this world, probably ripping her vagina in half in the process, suffering 18 hours of contractions, just to give you life…but she’s fine. She doesn’t need to see you. She can just look at your old baby photos and cry in her new empty living room, imagining all the fun you’re having just a half a mile away!