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Ask Mom & Spawn: Do I Tell My Ex About My New Boyfriend?

My Ex Broke Up With ME, But I Don’t Want To Hurt Him!

“I dated a guy for a year and a half, who I thought was the love of my life. During the relationship we broke up twice, the last breakup being the official end. He did both breakups, but then he proceeded to be very sad/remorseful and told all my good friends that he knows he’s made a terrible mistake. Fast forward three months, and now I’m seeing a new guy, who I really like so far. I feel bad about having a new thing so soon after the relationship with the person who I THOUGHT was the love of my life, and I know he’s going to be super broken up when he learns about me dating someone new. We live in the same city and run in similair circles, so he will find out. Would it be kinder to tell him myself or just let him find out? I feel so bad about hurting him.” -Jo

@CrazyJewishMom:  You’re worried about HURTING him? You should dice his balls up into a chopped salad, and feed it to a pack of his fellow unsuspecting, hipster man-children. Put it in a mason jar, and tell them it’s farm to table. They’ll eat it.

 @KateESiegel: Okay, so maybe don’t jump straight to forced cannibalism.
I will say though, he kind of sounds like a fuckboy, and he probably doesn’t deserve your concern.

@CrazyJewishMom:  Jo! What planet are you on??? He broke up with you. TWICE. Not once, but two. times. The only thing you should be concerned about is deleting his number and enjoying your new manmeat. Let him find out!

@KateESiegel: If he really thought breaking up the second time was such a terrible mistake, he would have come back to you begging. But he didn’t. What did he do? He told your mutual friends how sad he is, knowing it would get back to you and keep you thinking about him. Best case scenario, this guy is highly conflicted when it comes to how he feels about you. More likely, though? He’s a selfish, manipulative jackass who doesn’t want you but also doesn’t want anyone else to have you.

@CrazyJewishMom:  Don’t tell him. You don’t owe him anything. I personally hope he finds out after he’s spent a lonely night binge watching internet porn.

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