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Ask Mom & Spawn: URGENT! I need to break up before Thanksgiving!


It’s almost Thanksgiving, but I can’t be with my boyfriend anymore. What do I do?

“Hey ladies! I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years and we just moved in together. I thought it was a good idea and would fix a few things that were bothering me that I waved off because, you know, relationships require some compromise. But now I’m regretting letting him move in with me because all the things I was worried about have just been staring me in the face. I’ve really been the only one doing any leg work for compromise. The biggest compromise he’s made is taking allergy meds and getting air purifiers because he’s allergic to my cat. We’ve had a few arguments since moving in together, and I’ve realized that I don’t think we have the same goals, he is nowhere near as motivated as I am to get our lives on track, we really don’t have much in common, and he never listens to me about anything, including issues I’ve been having with my health. The point is, I know I need to end it, but he’s my first long-term relationship, and I have no idea the best way to do it. I know it has to be done soon because the holidays are coming up, and I don’t think I could fake being happy through all of that. Please help!!!” -Bri

@CrazyJewishMom: What’s confusing here? Just dump the loser, and move on to the next sperminator! And like I always say, YOU DON’T MOVE IN BEFORE YOU GET ENGAGED. 

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Don’t listen to her. It sounds like moving in was an important step, because it clarified your feelings for the guy, and now you’re certain about what you want to do.

@CrazyJewishMom: You. Don’t. Move. In. Before. You. Get. Engaged. Period. So, rip the band aid off and start a NEW SPERM SEARCH. Invite friends over for a SINGLES TURKEY DAY. But everyone coming has to bring one single male guest. See,Thanksgiving is a fabulous time to meet guys!

@KateFriedmanSiegel:  1. Gross. 2. Thanksgiving? Really? When? Before or after you slide into your post-turkey stretch pants? That said, Bri, I think you’re right to end things before the holidays.

@CrazyJewishMom: Yeah, the last thing you need is to waste two more months sucking up to the unmotivated, cat-hating loser’s parents!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: In terms of how to do it, best advice I can give is: make it quick. The absolute worst thing you can do in a break up is hem and haw and prolong the agony. You know what you want to do here, so no matter how much he begs or cries, you have to be decisive. You’ll just make it harder for both of you if you aren’t clear or waver. Just be honest. Something like: “I’ve been having doubts for a while, and moving in together made me realize that we just want different things in life. I’ll always value the good times we had, but I’ve decided that I don’t want to be together anymore, and I think you should move out.”

@CrazyJewishMom: And next time? DON’T MOVE IN WITH THE GUY TO BEGIN WITH!

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