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Ask Mom & Spawn: My Ex Lives in the Same Building as Me … Should I Move?

Lost wrote in because her BF cheated on her … but they live in the same apartment building. She asked him to not renew his lease (which he didn’t do) and now she changed her schedule to avoid him. Yet, the thought of living near him isn’t helping. What should she do?

“Hi mom and spawn. I’m currently feeling very lost and I’m hoping to get some advice. I was in a relationship for 9 months with a guy and we broke up 2 months ago when he admitted he cheated. Problem is, he lives in my same apartment building, which was great while we were together but seriously sucks now. When we broke up, I asked him not to renew his lease since it was almost up, but it has now become evident that he stayed. This makes me very angry because I’ve lived in this apartment for 4 years and him for just 1, and I feel like this is my home, but now I feel anxious every time I come and go. I still have 5 months on my lease, and I’ve successfully avoided him so far by changing my schedule and doing things differently, but I don’t know if I’ll be successful for 5 more months. And just the act of avoiding him means that I am conscious of his presence, and I don’t want to think about him anymore. Should I break my lease and move, even if that means downgrading or paying more rent in exchange for peace of mind? Or should I suck it up and pray that he doesn’t renew again next year?

(And btw, if you ladies want to come to cut his penis and feed it to him, or slash his tires, or anything else along that line, feel free to do so. He deserves all of it.)” – Lost

@KimFriedmanNYC: Hell no. This garbage pail excuse for a human does NOT get to chase you out of your own damn home!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Yeah, I agree. It definitely sucks that you have to see him around the building, but that’s not ultimately something you can control. What you can control is moving on and getting to a place where seeing him doesn’t bother you. It’s never going to be your favorite thing in the world to see your ex – if it were they wouldn’t be your ex! That said, you can get to a place where seeing this person makes you feel nothing but indifference, and I think THAT is what you should focus on achieving over focusing a lot of your time, energy, and money on moving.

@KimFriedmanNYC:  I agree completely, and you know how you get over this guy? Not by scurrying around your apartment building trying to hide from your ex and wallowing. It’s time for you to get back out there and start meeting new people, people to bring home to that apartment you love! Don’t make any major moves right now; see how you feel in a year.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Alright, so I strongly believe that it’s important to stand on your own two feet and not to derive your self worth and happiness from a partner. That being said, I think that after a breakup, especially in the wake of a long term one, a large part of the sadness is feeling overwhelmed and pessimistic about finding love again. So, I don’t think you need to find a new relationship to be happy again, but meeting new people and getting excited romantically about someone who isn’t your ex can go a long way in helping you move on. Just seeing that there are other people out there who you can connect with helps tremendously in my experience, even if they don’t end up being “the one.”

@KimFriedmanNYC: Get yourself together and find some fresh manmeat! AND I AM ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO SLASH FUCK BOYS’ TIRES.

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