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Ask Mom & Spawn: Help! I Saw a Dating App Notification on My BF’s Phone

Anonymous wrote in because her boyfriend of over four years recently put a lock on his phone … and she saw a dating app notification pop up. What should she do?

“My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years and he has NEVER had a lock on his phone. Not once. And then two weeks ago he suddenly added the fingerprint lock to his phone? He says it’s because he “doesn’t want to use the password for the banking app” but it makes me feel some type of way. Especially since the banking app has its own fingerprint lock option. He didn’t need to lock his whole phone.

I also recently saw a notification from facebook about a dating profile needing completed…. I’m concerned he may be talking to someone else… What do I do?” – Anonymous

@KimFriedmanNYC: CASTRATE HIM!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Okay, definitely no; don’t do that. But I have to agree that his actions definitely invite suspicion. Also, you kind of buried the lede – why on earth would he be getting notifications about a dating profile if he’s in a monogamous relationship? If your concern was just that he had started taking additional security precautions on his phone, I’m not sure that fact alone would have warranted much suspicion. After all, everyone should practice safe internet. BUT that combined with the notification you saw about a dating profile definitely opens the door to some questions.

@KimFriedmanNYC: Okay enough already. What do you do? You tell him he needs to unlock his phone and hand it over, or you’re gone!

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Perhaps a more subdued approach would help. I think you can start the conversation by telling him you love him and that you saw a notification on his phone about a dating profile and it made you extremely uncomfortable. You can express that you’ve been really upset about it and you need to see his facebook app for yourself, so you can stop stressing.

@KimFriedmanNYC:  And if he says no, YOU CASTRATE HIM AND THEN LEAVE.

@KateFriedmanSiegel: Still no castration. But you guys have been dating for over four years, so there really shouldn’t be a problem with you asking to see something so simple. I think if he resists, even with the argument, “I’m not going to show you because you should trust me” it would seem more suspicious. If he objects with something like that, I think you can say. “I know, but this has just gotten in my head; I love you so much, and seeing this would just give me so much peace of mind.”

@KimFriedmanNYC: Or, castrate him and after he passes out from the pain you can use his thumb to unlock the fingerprint sensor on his phone and investigate until you’re blue in the face!

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